Billions upon Billions

I'm sat watching BBC's The Great Rift, which is a new wildlife/geology programme, and I swear that they are just inventing animals. The Antelope in the mountains were clearly, clearly marked with white spray paint, with a little on the cheeks to complement its complexion. Lovely, yes, but there's definitely something going on. They just said that a tiny gopher-like creature was, in fact, a scaled down Elephant, but hairy. You what? Made up. "Down by the sugar bushes, where the chameleons stalk their prey...". Sugar bushes?! This is sounding like Jabberwocky now.

There's definitely not enough geology programmes on telly at the moment. Or ever. A programme that shows planetary change with clear explanations, a charismatic presenter and some not-dodgy-but-can-be-if-effective CGI. I recently 'acquired' the 1980 TV series Cosmos: A Personal Voyage by Carl Sagan, and it triggered a minor obsession with the universe and all its crazy physics. Carl Sagan is quite possibly the most intelligent man I've ever seen on television, and he's such an confident oddball. His delivery of every single syllable makes you pay attention and partly absorb everything he talks about. However, due to the nature of talking about the universe and its unknowable vastness, Cosmos induces a kind of laid back trippyness that makes you lose hours and hours. Also, Sagan was a well-documented advocate of getting stoned and stargazing, AND worked for NASA. This is exactly the sort of as-cool-as-a-taco-is-spicy TV personality we're lacking on the BBC. Carl Sagan could get every child in the UK to become a astrophysicist. Or a stoner.

The David Attenborough series of documentaries/landscape porn, such as Life and Planet Earth, are great, but aren't sciencey enough for my interest to be piqued. Yes, that tiger cub is cute, and it's plight is very much fraught with danger and mild peril, but I want to see inside it's DNA, and I want to see it now! *Cue rapid zoom to a sub-molecular level* Boom. But no time for that, the Earth is shifting! *Dolly zoom into the helpless cub's eyes as the ground crumbles away under it* Laaaavvvaaaa. Freeze frame as a detailed spectrography of the rocks appears, superimposed onto the surrounding volcanic of pit. And are tiger cubs fireproof? Percentages and betting ratios, stat! Not sure exactly how volcanically active this fictional part of India is, but I wouldn't need to make this up if they'd just give me the TV that I want!

Right, music theme... Ah! The best detective (eg. whilst doing some detecting)/chase music from film or TV. Ideally not a John Williams-esque orchestra score. Here's a few, but any suggestions are very welcome.

Yoko Kanno & The Seatbelts - Tank!

This is from Cowboy Beebop, an amazing anime movie based on a popular detective TV show. According to my good friend Rick, they commissioned a jazz and blues soundtrack specifically for the show, and the result is effortlessly cool. Okay, they probably put some effort in, jazz is complex. This is the best track on the album, coming on over the main titles. Really defines the film from there on in.

Brad Fiedel - Tech Noir: Alley Chase

Seminal work from the former Blackburn Rovers goalie turned Villan. Oh. That would've been amazing though, right? This is from The Terminator, and is amazing to do a puppet dance to (just wait til it kicks in around the 3 minute mark). Turn it up a bit louder though, it needs it. Also, it's a bit Final Fantasy VII, escape from Midgar! Ruuuuun.

Dengue Fever - Ethanopium

From the film Broken Flowers, this is pure sleuthing musak. Pass me another Sailor Jerry Mojito, I'm ready to invoice.

Right, the house is covered in thread from Deborah's handbag production line, I'm (not) off to hoover.